Simple Solutions for Success, growth and balance
A discussion was recently posted to one of my LinkedIn groups asking us to describe our lives in six words. Inspired by the Six-Word Memoir Project, it created a very fascinating discussion. If you could only use six words to tell your memoir and communicate your life to someone, what would they be?
My response… Work hard! Play often! Love much!
How about you? Can you sum up your life in six words?
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Burned out, stressed out people have become so commonplace that we hardly pay attention to the signs anymore. But that is a serious mistake. Burn out has a tremendous impact on both your physical health and mental well-being.
The first step is learning to recognize the signs. We often dismiss them. We are just dedicated to our jobs or honoring our commitments, or even being a good parent, child, or friend. That is merely a lie we tell ourselves so that we can keep doing what we have been doing.
Stop doing that to yourself. Be aware of the signs and take heed.
Some common warning signs, though there are many others:
When you see the signs, pay attention. Take a step back and realize that you must make some kind of change. Sometimes it is a small change and sometimes it can be a complete overhaul. If you do not do something, your body will eventually force the issue.
Have you experienced burnout? Have you taken any steps to change your stress levels? Any signs I missed?
Photo by JFPescatore (CC BY-SA 2.0)
While we have acknowledged that stress cannot be avoided all together, there are some practices we can employ while in the throes of life stress that can bring our stress levels down and minimize both the short and long-term effects of stress on our bodies and minds. Again, these are different for each person; what might be work for one, doesn’t work for another. The key is in knowing what they are so that you can take them out of your little bag of calming tricks when you need them most and get back to a better life balance.
Lower Stress Strategy: Employ your stress reducers.
Stress reducers are practices that we can use in the moment of, or directly after, a stressful situation. These actions that can help to calm and bring your stress back down to a manageable level so that you can get on with the rest of your day and not get stuck in the stress cycle.
Take 10 minutes to list 5-10 strategies (more if you want) that reduce or short-circuit stress.
Some of my stress reducers:
Petting my dogs – The touch and rhythm of the action, coupled with the affection soothe my angry beast.
Listening to music – Surprisingly, the genre doesn’t matter. Classical, rock, blues, it all works for me.
Fresh air – Stepping outside or even opening the window release tension and bring me back down.
Deep breathing – This is talked about all the time, but it really works. A few minutes of deep slow breathes lower my heart rate and blood pressure.
Running – I love walking and yoga, but they do not work for me after stress has occurred. I need to get my blood pumping and burn off the stress.
Looking at pictures of my children and grandson – The smiles and simple enjoyment of life, the reminder of love and the bigger picture help me to put things in perspective.
What are your reducers? Care to share…
In the rest of this series on lowering stress, we look at more strategies to reduce stress and how to avoid it before it starts.
Do you have a life plan? If not, it’s time to think about creating one. We are not talking about some 20 page research paper with charts and graphs and maps. Just a general snapshot of where you are right now in all the areas that matter and where you’d like to go in the future.
This should take no more than 30 minutes. This is your life we’re talking about…you can find 30 minutes. And if you can’t …we need to talk, you and I.
How would you rate your life on a scale of 1 – 10? – Are you satisfied with that rating? What would you be satisfied with?
Write a brief description of the current state of your life. – Health, relationships, work, finances, spiritual or emotional well-being, community, etc. Whatever is going on. Just briefly jot it down.
What makes you happy? – There must be some good things, some things that bring you joy and make you laugh.
What are the drains on your energy and happiness? – What people, situations or behaviors are your kryptonite? We all have these things (or someones) that suck the life out of us like vampires draining our life force.
What isn’t working in your life? - These are the obstacles to living a satisfied life of fulfillment…Do you need to lose weight, be more organized, find a different job, end or change a relationship, manage your stress better or maybe just learn to laugh again.
Now describe your ideal life. - I’m not talking about a commercial for the “Rich and Famous,” some Hollywood fairy tale. I’m talking about what kind of life would truly make you happy to get out of bed in the morning. What would you be doing? Who would you be with? How would you be feeling?
What do you need to do to get that life? – What needs to happen for you to get from point A to point B? Again, not a detailed outline of actions for the next 20 years, just some general goals to work toward, a few habits to adopt or a change in attitude or surroundings to adopt.
Something to think about…Why? Why do you want whatever it is that you want? What do you really want to accomplish in this life? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want to be remembered for?
Sometimes we need a little reminder… Yes, my skeptical and jaded readers…there is a living, breathing Christmas Spirit…It lives in us…and it is up to us to share it with not just those we love, but those who need it most.
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DEAR EDITOR:
I am 8 years old.
Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
Papa says, ‘If you see it in THE SUN it’s so.’
Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?
VIRGINIA O’HANLON.
115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET.
VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You may tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
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“Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast – you also miss the sense of where you are going and why.” Eddie Cantor
Slow down! You may be missing something important…your life.
This time of year it’s more important than ever to slow down and enjoy your life. Unfortunately for most of us this is also the busiest time of year; shopping, wrapping, socializing and we still have to keep up with our work obligations and family responsibilities. It doesn’t leave much time for holiday cheer, let alone, time to take in the scenery.
Unless we make a conscious decision to do so. You can make excuses all day long. In the end the choice is yours. As a “busyholic in recovery” I can tell you that I get it. I understand the avalanche of tasks, the never-ending demands, and the bottomless inbox. I get it. I really do. But to what end? Where are you going and why?
I can tell you where I am going!
I am going to sit and enjoy one more Christmas concert and actually listen to the children singing and playing their hearts out instead of lamenting over the chores that are waiting for me at home and what I could have gotten done if I didn’t have to attend.
I am going to sit and play Othello and Battleship with my son in front of the fire instead of making one more trip to the mall for that “perfect” present.
I am going to cuddle and rock my smoochable grandbaby instead of trekking back up to my office late at night for one more work session.
I am going to drink coffee with my husband and watch the snowflakes fall instead of checking my email on a Sunday morning.
Where are you going? Can you slow down and enjoy your life more?
Everyone should have one! If only a blindingly bright spray of white artificial light could give us the secret to happiness. That would be wonderful and…well… fanciful. But the truth is, if you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder or “winter blues” a White “Happy” light might help.
According to Familydoctor.org
Seasonal affective disorder (also called SAD) is a type of depression that is triggered by the seasons of the year. The most common type of SAD is called winter-onset depression. Symptoms usually begin in late fall or early winter and go away by summer. A much less common type of SAD, known as summer-onset depression, usually begins in the late spring or early summer and goes away by winter. SAD may be related to changes in the amount of daylight during different times of the year.
How common is SAD?
Between 4% and 6% of people in the United States suffer from SAD. Another 10% to 20% may experience a mild form of winter-onset SAD. SAD is more common in women than in men. Although some children and teenagers get SAD, it usually doesn’t start in people younger than 20 years of age. For adults, the risk of SAD decreases as they get older. Winter-onset SAD is more common in northern regions, where the winter season is typically longer and more harsh.
What are the symptoms of SAD?
Although your symptoms are clues to the diagnosis, not everyone who has SAD experiences the same symptoms. Common symptoms of winter-onset SAD include the following:
- A change in appetite, especially a craving for sweet or starchy foods
- Weight gain
- A drop in energy level
- Fatigue
- A tendency to oversleep
- Difficulty concentrating
- Irritability and anxiety
- Increased sensitivity to social rejection
- Avoidance of social situations and a loss of interest in the activities you used to enjoy
If you don’t work near a window or getting outside isn’t possible or practical, it can affect your mood, energy, sleep, appetite and more.
Daylight gently helps the body recalibrate and stabilize, improving focus, concentration and productivity. It also prompts the body’s natural sleep patterns to help with jet lag and shift work.
If you’re interested, you can find these lights on Amazon.com and most likely at your local department store.
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Some of my favorite things about the Holiday season:
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When we look back on our fondest memories of Christmas past, it is probably not the perfectly trimmed tree and beautifully wrapped gifts that we most remember. It is rather those joyously happy, splendidly unplanned moments that were ripe with laughter (or tears,) family, friends and fun. It is the time spent helping others, connecting with those we love and embracing the good cheer of the festivities.
As the holiday season gets underway it’s so easy to get caught up in the crazed busyness of these coming weeks. Many of us have fallen victim to the pressures and pulls of the holiday chaos all around us, only to find that we have missed the entire meaning and joyousness of this special time. The gifts we cherish most are not the most expensive, but the most meaningful. The memories we hold dear are those filled with laughter and light.
Some suggestions to get the most out of your holiday season:
Create Traditions – Whether it’s caroling or making snowmen, crafting gingerbread houses or baking cookies, volunteering or reading as a family it becomes so much more special if you make it a tradition. It’s often the simple things that are the most fun. Ask your children or family what they enjoy. Some of my children’s favorite traditions: Christmas layer cookies and wassail while we decorate the tree, answering questions from “The Christmas Conversation Piece” book, watching The Polar Express and the Grinch as a family and opening one gift on Christmas Eve.
Schedule Down-Time – Be selective about which social and family invitations you accept. And don’t try to fit in too many family activities. Even well intended choices can become stressful if you don’t leave some time to unwind and just be together. I really cherish those evenings when we sit in front of the Christmas tree in our pajamas playing a game or watching Christmas movies.
Don’t Break the Bank – The biggest stress of the season can be the credit card bills that hit the mailbox in January. Don’t get tripped up by unrealistic spending. Make a budget that you can handle, save ahead of time if you can and don’t make the mistake of thinking more expensive is better.
Forget Martha – I am not Martha Stewart and neither are you. Forget about perfection. Forget about making 12 kinds of cookies, expecting your home to look like a magazine and finding the perfect present for everyone on your list. Reality check. Martha has an entire crew to help her create and those homes in magazines are staged by professionals. Oh and those people on television who are always so elated with their gifts…they’re actors…
Have Fun – Most importantly don’t forget to have fun! Throw snowballs, make a snowman, dance and sing to your holiday favorites or visit Santa. Do whatever brings you joy and makes you feel like a kid again.
Make this the best holiday season ever!
What do you enjoy? Care to share a holiday favorite?
If you think of life in terms of a game, then perhaps you should give yourself a score of some sort. How else will you know how you’re doing?
And really why shouldn’t you? Despite the fact that it is often serious and at times difficult, life really does play out much like a game. We compete against each other and sometimes work in teams. We try to accumulate possessions and titles as if they were points on the scoreboard. We advance by a combination of choices, strategy and sheer luck.
So why shouldn’t we get a score?
Only in this case you are the only one who can decide how many points you are awarded…
Let’s have some fun and find out how we are doing at the game of life.
Give yourself from 1 – 20 points in each of the 5 areas based on how well you think you are doing.
Health – How is your health? Consider your weight, diet, fitness and energy as well as any health problems you may have.
Relationships – How are your relationships? How deep and fulfilling is your relationship with your significant other, your children, your parents or your siblings. How about your friends?
Career – How satisfied are you with your career or business life? Are you content? Are you contributing meaningful work? Are you doing something you enjoy? Are you being valued appropriately?
Happiness – How happy are you? Really? Do you feel good about your life? Do you have a hopeful, positive attitude? Do you feel a sense of balance or are you feeling unstable or overwhelmed?
Money – This is not about how much money you have, but with your perception of it. Do you have enough money? Are you responsible in your managing of your money? Do you feel secure about money? Or are you always worried?
Now add up your score in each area to get your “Life Score.”
Your score is yours alone. You do not have to share. It’s not about comparing or competing with anyone other than yourself. You decide what it means and what, if anything, you’d like to do about it.
My scoring guidelines:
75-100 – You are either lying to yourself…or you really know what you want out of life and are making good decisions and taking consistent action to keep moving in a positive direction.
50-74 – You are probably making good choices much of the time and may have some idea of what you want out of life, but there is room for improvement. You may have a nagging health issue or be worried about money or unhappy in your career. Or you may just be juggling everything pretty well, but feel that you can do better.
25-49 – You probably aren’t really clear on what you want or what you should be doing. You know that your choices could be better, but you just can’t seem to take consistent action toward your goals. Or you are so focused on one aspect of your life that the others are completely suffering. You could use some help.
0-24 – You desperately need help! You are totally missing out on the fullness of what life has to offer you. But you can make changes. It’s not hopeless; not at all.
How did you do? Are you happy with your life score?
If you are…. Congratulations! Good job!
If you’re not… You can do better. Change is possible and it’s doesn’t even have to be that hard. You might benefit from coaching, from self-discovery, life planning or clear goal setting. The good news is that much of your life is within your control. Yes, there is an element of luck and circumstances, but to a large extent you have the power.
Your power lies in your choices, your actions and your attitude.
How you use that power determines the outcome and experience of your life.
Care to share? How satisfied are you with your life score? What will you do about it?
Question everything, move forward, enjoy the journey.
Freelance writer & Life Success guide. I write about a broad range of topics and serve as your guide to the fullness of life. Read more...
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