Tag Archives | personal development
questions

Know Your Why

By on January 10, 2011 in Success

questionsDo you really know why you want the things you want? How and why did you set those goals in the first place? What is the motivation and who has ownership? Setting goals and objective is absolutely essential, but if you don’t really identify your “why” or your purpose, then you won’t have the clarity and motivation that is required for maximum progress.

This week take some time to contemplate your “why.”

  • Why do you want to achieve a certain outcome?
  • Will it bring about some positive change in your life or someone else’s?
  • Who might be affected?
  • Does it give you some kind of satisfaction or fulfillment?
  • Is your purpose in line with your personal and/or company values?
  • Is this goal or objective even really yours? Or are you just going along with another person or entity’s wishes without questioning?

For more information on setting goals see the related posts.

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Change One Thing at a Time

By on January 7, 2011 in Personal Growth, Success

Are you taking on too much, getting caught in the resolution frenzy?

Are your resolutions really more like wish lists?

This year why not try making one profound change. Make it important enough that you will reap rewards, see results or gain satisfaction as you progress and work towards this “goal.”  Change is a process that usually takes time, so don’t beat yourself up.

Do you want to start a business, get fit, stop smoking, write a book, start a blog, get out of a dead-end relationship or job, pay off your debt? Whatever it is . . . make this your top priority and put your focus on it until it’s done! You may need to let something else go or at least put it on the back burner to free up time and energy. But what’s the alternative? You will be back in the same place this time next year and nothing will have changed……

I am still making up my mind…write a book, build my business, get fit (exercise every morning, run long road race, build more muscle,) increase financial savings, meditate daily, have more fun……starting to sound like a wish list to me. We are in this together…….

Keep me posted on your progress and we can journey through 2011 together!

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calm

Journey of the Peaceful Warrior

By on December 2, 2010 in Life Balance, Personal Growth

calm

Peaceful Warrior

Lessons Learned: Month 5

The sanity and comfort that we seek in our tumultuous times is found in the small gestures and the simple acts that are easily within our reach.

We joke sometimes, the other military wives and I about the dichotomy of our toughness and vulnerability that uniquely make up the existence of “home-front warriors.” I ponder this odd journey I find myself on and wonder what it means. The answer has not entirely revealed itself to me yet, but this I do know; that the tangled web of moments, decisions and experiences that unfold are culminating in the transformation of the woman, the peaceful warrior that I have blossomed into.

As month 5 draws to a close it’s time to reflect on what I have lost and gained.

What have I lost?

5 pounds – This can be fortuitous or worrisome depending on your point of view.

Any sense of control – I have come to accept that the military controls my husband, for the time being at least. God, fate or the universe (substitute whatever you choose to believe) control our world, our lives and our future. No one can control the thoughts and actions of others. Even my children are mostly beyond my control. Sigh. Influence yes, control no. The only thing I truly control is my perception and reactions.

Any smugness or impression of supremacy based on talents or accomplishments – I have learned how precarious my semblance of order, organization and competence are. Knowledge and discipline can only go so far regardless of how efficient your system is. Life intervenes and even the most skilled individual can be blown off course by crisis, turbulence, utter exhaustion and sheer overwhelm.

Fear of appearing weak – The last vestiges of worrying about how I am perceived by others has dissipated. I cannot exist totally independent from others and why would I want to? I ask for help freely, I admit my fears and worries openly and I accept support gratefully.

What have I gained?

A sense of trust – I trust my husband not to put himself in unnecessary danger, to tell me if there is a need for me to be concerned and to give his family the position of top priority whenever possible. I trust my husband’s fellow soldiers to do their best to keep him safe. I also trust in my ability to handle whatever life throws my way.

Unqualified acceptance – That does not mean that I give up my prerogative to complain or try to alter the course of events, but that I accept what is reality in whatever form that takes right now. I accept my lack of control. I accept that there will be hardship and moments of devastation. I accept that it is not all about me and sometimes there is just nothing that can be done.

A core of strength and peace – I have slowly come to experience a sense of peace, a certain kind of knowing that all will be well in the end. It’s a revelation of just how far the limits of my strength and capacity can stretch and an inner calm that flows along with that knowledge.

I am not a pacifist, not in your wildest dreams, but no longer will I obsess over worry and control that elude me. I have grown to embrace the title and meaning of “peaceful warrior.” The personification of that in practical terms means that I save my worry for true and real concerns right now, instead of future possibilities. It means that I save my strength for matters over which I can have some influence and affect some change. It means that I conserve and expend my energy in synergy with the flow of life and with respect for the needs of my body and mind. It means that I am calm and focused, compassionate and forgiving and equally fierce and powerful when necessary.

It feels akin to taking the first step on a new path of unknown destination with no idea what landscape I will see along the way. What I do know is that I intend to keep my eyes, mind and heart open to everything life has yet to offer me.

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Hands

Thankfulness is Power

By on November 29, 2010 in Personal Growth, Success

HandsDuring tough times, many people find themselves battling thoughts of anger, depression, fear, etc.  These thoughts do nothing to inspire you, nor to move you in the right direction.  In fact, they make matters worse.  Thankfulness on the other hand, is a fast and powerful way to create a positive change in your circumstances.  Gratitude raises you up to a new level of consciousness and provides an atmosphere for awakening spirituality.  You are able to visualize new possibilities, receive ideas on what steps to take next and realize a positive vision for the future.

What we feed grows and what we think is purely a matter of personal choice.  We have to choose powerful thoughts that move us in a direction that serves our purpose.  Powerful, positive thoughts bring us peace of mind and inspire us.  They help us with smart goal setting as well as self improvement.  Get out of a funk by changing your thoughts and following up with clarity and precise action.

Excerpted from MorningCoach.com, contributed my Paul Lederman.

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Lessons Learned: Month 4

By on November 3, 2010 in Life Balance, Personal Growth

My husband has been deployed for 4 months now. Looking back gives the impression that time has flown by, but as it is passing it seems excruciatingly slow. A few more months to go, but we are on the downslide now.

Lessons Learned: Month 4

  • Put yourself at the top of the list – Don’t just give it lip service, do it! You’d think I would have figured that out in month 1, but for some odd reason human nature turns us into martyrs. We consistently slip to the bottom of the priority list, the section that we never get to. We tell ourselves that it’s only temporary and that sacrifices are necessary. Sleep – who needs it, meals – sitting or sometimes eating is optional, breaks – yeah right, relaxation – what’s that? If we are not careful, we sacrifice ourselves right into burn-out.
  • Approach a deployment as a 2nd job – We absorb dual parental responsibility, extra household responsibility and sometimes additional family responsibilities. In addition we need to set aside time to communicate and care for our partner from afar. Whether that takes the form of email, phone, Skype, mailing packages or all of the above, it is an additional time commitment that wasn’t there before. I received some very wise counsel this month from a brutally honest confidant. “You were operating with a full plate before your husband left. How did you honestly expect to absorb all of these extra demands and still keep everything in the air?” Well, I guess I never thought about it that way. Now I will.

This month’s take-aways; self-care is non-negotiable, delegate, defer or delete responsibilities to make room for extra demands.

Today I am grateful for the biggest lesson I have learned so far: Taking care of myself is the foundation for a fulfilling, purposeful life.

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road blocks

What are Your Obstacles and How to Overcome Them

By on October 12, 2010 in Personal Growth, Success
road blocks
Image by s myers via Flickr

This month we have been focusing on habits and how to successfully change them. A big part of the success strategy is knowing what your obstacles are and having a plan to conquer them. This same concept can apply to many other facets of business as well as in your home life.

Whether you want to stop procrastinating, quit smoking or drinking, start exercising, cultivate a daily writing practice or keep your home clean and de-cluttered, the process, preparation and strategy is the same.

Anticipate obstacles – Take a look back at past failures and try to understand what stopped you from achieving success. Look at personal as well as professional instances where you just couldn’t quite hit the mark. What got in the way?

Identify patterns – Do you have a certain pattern of behavior that keeps popping up and getting in the way of your goal? Do you self-sabotage, burn-out, give up or refuse to ask for help?

Recognize your triggers – Are their certain situations that trigger your current habit? Do you relapse into unproductive behavior around particular people? Do you find some surroundings to be more conducive to failure than others?

Plan ahead – Develop a strategy to overcome obstacles before they happen. The best way to assure success is to prepare ahead of time, rather than to try to come up with a solution when you are in the moment.

For example, if you are trying to quit smoking, don’t take breaks outside with your former smoking cohorts. If you are trying to stop procrastinating, set a timer and a reward. Trying to clear the clutter? Figure out how it got there in the first place. Sort the mail by the recycling bin or set aside 15 minutes each day to tackle one area. If you’re trying to lose weight, avoid buffets! Whatever the behavior you desire to change, enlist support, get a partner or mentor, or publically declare your intention. The extra accountability might be the push you need.

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Seinfeldian Chain In Action

Start Small and Build Momentum to Make a Habit Stick

By on October 7, 2010 in Personal Growth, Success
Seinfeldian Chain In Action
Image by emdot via Flickr

“Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do.”
~ Shaquille ONeal

We’re talking habits this month.

If you missed the first post in the series, Change Your Habits: 30 Days to a more Productive and Successful Life, I recommend you start there and come back.

Changing a habit is difficult. Let’s face it; you have done certain things in a certain way for probably most of your life. Trying to change those patterns is not an easy task, but it can be done. The success rate is much higher if you don’t try to tackle too much at once, otherwise you are just setting yourself up for failure. This is one of the main reasons that New Year’s resolutions don’t have a good success rate. We attempt grand, life altering changes, often several at once.

Choose one habit – Focus on changing one thing at a time. You can add another change later once you have mastered this one.

Keep it simple – I will exercise 5X per week is good. I will train for a marathon time next month is a goal and an ambitious one, not a habit. I will make 5 sales calls every morning before I check email is good. I will increase sales by 30 % = goal.

Start small – The smaller the better. It’s better to start with a small change and build on that. Wake up 15 minutes earlier, not 2 hours. Exercise for 20 minutes, not run 5 miles. Try slowly cutting back on email checking – 5X per day, then 4X, then 3X…..

Cement it – Write down what habit you are going to change. Documenting helps to solidify and cement the intention in your brain. Put it on your calendar, either electronic or paper. Schedule time for it!

Have you chosen you habit yet?

Click here to read more on creating and sticking with new habits.

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Change Your Habits: 30 Days to a more Productive and Successful Life

By on October 5, 2010 in Personal Growth, Success
Logo for the program 30 Days Category:Televisi...
Image via Wikipedia

Excellence is not an act but a habit. The things you do the most are the things you will do the best.

- Marva Collins

Our habits make up the web that supports the fabric of our daily lives. We may often not even realize we have them, but trust me, they are there. Good and bad, we all repeat them in often unconscious patterns that shape the tone, productiveness and success of our lives. You cannot escape this reality. Whether you work in a corner office, are a stay at home mom or especially if you work from home or are a business owner, the quality and efficiency of your work depend on good habits. The good news is that habits can be changed with persistence and patience.

habits

If you want to change the quality and trajectory of your life, then you must cultivate better habits and cease old patterns.

Reality check – Have you identified the habits that are not serving you? Let’s be honest. We know when a habit is undermining our plans and progress.  We stay up too late, watch too much TV, eat unhealthy food, compulsively check email or haunt Facebook. We overspend and ignore our health. Whatever your destructive patterns are, you have to be willing to look at them honestly.

Why – Know your motivation. Is it better health, getting your home or office organized, losing weight, making more money or getting out of debt?  Is there a project you need to finish or a dream that you want to pursue? Motivation can be the determining factor in whether you succeed or not.

Stay positive – It is far easier to focus on cultivating a positive habit rather than trying to simply break an old one.

Some examples:

Instead of saying I need to cut out sugar, you might try I will eat fruit for dessert.

Instead of I want to cut back on spending, you might want to say I will save X amount per week.

Instead of trying to refrain from checking email first thing in the morning, you could cultivate a habit of using your first hour for either your most important work (which I doubt is email) or your self-care (exercise, reading, etc.)

*My ongoing struggle is to consistently get enough sleep and rise earlier. I know that sets the tone for my whole day and often makes the difference between a productive day and a stressful one. So that will be my habit change for October.

Join me in the 30 day challenge to a more productive life by changing your habits. I recommend you choose just one to start and stay consistent. As we progress through October I will share more tips and strategies for making your habits stick.

What habit will you choose to change?

Read more on changing habits and making them stick.

 

 

Looking for a coach in UK? Check out the Life Coach Directory
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Cone of learning export 11x17

How Better Learning Leads to Higher Productivity

By on September 21, 2010 in Success

I see and I forget. I hear and I remember. I do and I understand. – Confucius

Are you familiar with the Cone of Learning Theory developed by Edgar Dale? In a nutshell the theory explains that the more active someone is in the learning of a new skill or knowledge, the more they will retain and be able to apply. Passive learning just does not have the same level of effectiveness. You might be tempted to say, what does learning theory have to do with me?

Are you a coach or consultant who needs to teach clients or teams new skills?

Are you in a leadership position that requires instructing employees or students?

Do you ever try to learn a new skill or improve an old one yourself?

Most likely unless you are living in a cave with no desire to move beyond your current level of homeostasis, the answer is yes. Of course you want growth, learning and development.

Cone of learning export 11x17

Image via Wikipedia

Cone of Learning Theory in practical terms:

  • We remember 10% of what we read – We may be able to define or list new information but that’s all.
  • We retain 20% of what we hear – We might be able to describe or explain concepts.
  • We remember 30% of what we see – We may be able to demonstrate a skill or information to another.
  • We can retain 50% of what we both see and hear – This is a jump to the next level. We are probably able to apply and put into practice new knowledge at this level.
  • We usually remember 70% of what we say – Another leap at this level. We can participate in discussions, collaborate with others and start to design strategies.
  • We are in most cases able to retain 90% of what we both say and do – This is the most effective style of learning. At this point we should be able to autonomously apply knowledge on our own, teach others, analyze effectiveness and start to create new interpretations and applications for the information.

How can you use this in your own life or business? When designing workshops, lessons, training sessions or your own learning habits try to apply the most effective method possible. Read or listen to information, find a visual, then repeat it out loud and try to practice yourself while following along. It’s not always possible to implement the most efficient learning style depending on the circumstances, but just keep the principles in mind as you go. Happy learning!

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How Investing in Your Yourself Can Improve Your Career or Business

By on September 7, 2010 in Success

When the children start back to school it is a good time to think about what areas we need to learn more in. Do we have skills we need to brush up? Is there a class we want to take? Are there any training courses that would benefit us? Learning is a lifelong process that is never finished. If we want to hold on to our competitive advantage and stay at the top of our field then we must constantly invest in ourselves. We are our best and more useful asset, especially if we are small business owners, entrepreneurs, professionals or high level executives. Or if we’d like to have any one of those job descriptions.

Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study.  Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life. ~Henry L. Doherty

So, where do you start? Think about what skill or area of expertise you would like to improve your proficiency in. Don’t limit yourself to the field you work in or the specific job you do currently. You might want to be a better public speaker or improve you typing because you’re sick to death of using the “hunt and peck” method of typing your proposals and memos. Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn Italian or desire to learn new management methods. Whatever the skill may be, both you and your company will benefit. More knowledge is always an asset.

The first step is to decide what you want to focus on:

  • Do you need to go back and finish your college degree? Choose one class or enroll full-time.
  • Do you need to learn a new skill to advance to the next level? Management, leadership, HR might be good choices.
  • How are your communication skills? Take a public speaking class or join a group like Toastmasters. Take a writing course or one on advanced Microsoft Word techniques.
  • Speaking of Microsoft, how about a course on Excel or PowerPoint?
  • Is there a seminar for ongoing training in your profession that you’d benefit from?
  • How about a new skill? Marketing, Social Media or record-keeping?
  • Do you need to get better at managing your finances? Even if you have accountants and financial managers, you still need to have an understanding of what is going on financially in your business.
  • Almost everybody could use a refresher on office skills, no matter what level you are at. A course on organizational skills maybe or learning to use dictation software for faster writing.

The possibilities are endless. You are you most valuable tool. Investing in yourself will almost invariably have the highest rate of return.

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