Tag Archives | relationships

Gratefulness is the Key to a Happy Life

By on August 20, 2010 in Personal Growth

“Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy — because we will always want to have something else or something more.” — Brother David Steindl-Rast

Office

In my office, which is my “private space” where I spend much of my time, I surround myself with reminders of all of the people and things in my life which I am grateful for. It keeps me grounded in the reality of what is important in life and helps to keep me out of the “something more” mentality. If we continue to look for happiness in something or someone else, we will never find it. Reflect this week on what you already have and ask yourself this question.

“Can I be happy with my life just the way it is right now?”

If the answer is no, then look inside yourself for the solution. You will never find it “out there.”

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Vacation Reminds Us of What’s Really Important

By on August 17, 2010 in Personal Growth

Vacation is a good time to reflect on what really matters in your life and how you want to spend your time on this earth.

“Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and growing.” -Jim Rohn

Kids in Montreal

Family

Hearts montreal

Love

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First Month: Lessons Learned

By on August 5, 2010 in Personal Growth

One Month Down

I can’t believe that over a month has passed since my husband left for Afghanistan. It has a been a whirlwind of late nights, restless sleep, an endless task list, chores forgotten, frequent frustration and yes, a few tears along the way. It has also been a time of tremendous personal growth, increased confidence, support from family and friends and a heightened appreciation for the beauty of my imperfect life.

Lessons Learned:

  • It is the small everyday comforts that make all the difference – my constant canine companions, my children, the aroma of morning coffee, the soothing taste of freshly brewed tea, a home that I feel comfortable in, the orchid blooming in my office, a scented candle, stirring music, flowers in bloom, wildlife outside my window and supportive family and friends.
  • I need to ask for help – support is available, but people won’t know what I need until I am willing to ask.
  • I cannot do everything – it is physically impossible with the 24 hours each day I am given to maintain my past level of responsibilities while adding in my husband’s. I have withdrawn from some volunteer activities and paired down my load.
  • I must lower my expectations – it is all right if the floor isn’t vacuumed every day, if the windows don’t get cleaned this month, if the cabinets don’t shine, if the cars don’t get washed and if the dogs didn’t get their bath. Cereal can be an acceptable dinner as long as it is high in fiber and you add fruit.
  • I need to be gentle with myself and my kids – I really need to take time to be with friends and family, but time alone is a must for me. My monthly massage is no longer a luxury and painting my toe nails is not frivolous.
  • I am capable of so much more than I believe – I have always been a fairly strong and independent woman, but I have surprised myself by stretching in so many ways already.

Stepping outside of my comfort zone when my world in turmoil is a very scary concept, but it is in that space of uncertainty where I will grow the most and where my best life resides.

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Create Your Own Network

By on July 29, 2010 in Success

Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want or what you need! Chances are good that you will get it and you might just help someone else out in the process.

My quick story: My regular readers know that my husband is deployed to the Middle East; that’s just background information. Last week I received an email from our local family services coordinator at the base that went out to all of the spouses/partners of the deployed service members. It’s great that we have communication from the base, but what was lacking was a community of support for the wives. No support network existed, so I suggested to the base that we start one, offered my assistance and they agreed.  Now we have our own network; a private Facebook group where we can share thoughts, concerns and ask for help from one another. We are growing quickly and are slowly developing a broader reach and a valuable connection. Who knows what may come of this; parenting help, career assistance, sharing of skills, mentoring and of course friendship.

Another result of this project was that I decided that more sharing of information and support was needed by military spouses as a whole and knew that I could fill that need. So, out of this experience came not only a new support network, but a new website – GuardWife.com – and a book on deployment from the family’s perspective is in progress.

Lessons learned:

  • Speak up and ask for what you want!
  • Chances are good that someone else needs the same resource that you are looking for.
  • If the network doesn’t exist; create it yourself.
  • If you find a need out there that is not being met; FILL IT!

You may be able to make money from your innovations and ideas or maybe not. You never know where they will lead you. The important thing is that your need will be filled and you will most likely have added to your network and helped others along the way.

If you want to read more on stepping outside your comfort zone, read Key Questions: What Are Your Limitations?

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Absolute Minimums are a Must to Improve Productivity

By on July 23, 2010 in Personal Growth, Success

If you consistently accomplish your absolute minimum in each of your critical core concentration areas each day you will make significant progress toward you goals over time.

Remember, slow and steady wins the race. You can always do more than the minimum and I hope you will, but even small amounts of advancement add up. Too often we get caught up in the mental trap of believing that if we can’t commit a substantial amount of time and energy then we might as well not bother to take action at all. That is a myth.

Take a look at what you have identified as your current critical areas of focus and determine what your absolute minimums are.

What is the least amount of time, effort or action you need to take to see progress?

Each person will have different answers and only you as an individual can reasonably define what they are. It is also helpful to note which focus area they address. To get you started, here is an example based on my current focus list, of the absolute minimums that I must do with consistency; both to achieve progress towards my goals and also to feel satisfied with my life and work:

  • Exercise a minimum of 20 minutes daily – physical health
  • Write one hour – career
  • Email my husband daily summary & encouragement – family
  • Work a minimum of 6 hours each day during the summer – career
  • Social media (10 Twitter posts and 1 Facebook post daily, update LinkedIn status weekly) – career
  • Connect with at least one child each day (one on one time, phone call or email/text communication) – family
  • Take 30 minutes of alone time (crucial to my sanity) – mental health
  • Check in with my Facebook community (especially group for spouses of deployed military members) – friends

Your list may be very different and it should be since your life situation is dissimilar to mine. This list will then become a structure for new habits you want to implement. The amount and complexity is up to you, but remember to keep it reasonable or you won’t be able to maintain your momentum.

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It’s About the Experience

By on March 16, 2010 in Success

Focus your marketing efforts on creating an experience. This does two things.

First, it creates a buzz around your brand for your customers to share. We all know that word of mouth is the most powerful marketing method available, but how often do you actually give people something to talk about?

Creating an experience or feeling also helps build a sense of relationship with your brand and gives customers a reason to keep coming back. People want to feel a certain way and if you associate your brand with what they’re looking for, they’ll respond to that.

How do you go about creating experiences?

  • Appeal to a customer’s emotions.
  • Make interactions as personal as possible.
  • Cultivate and promote the values that YOU stand for.
  • Be interesting, thought-provoking or noteworthy in some manner.
  • Identify what’s important to your customer and find a way to connect that to your brand.
  • Find techniques to become part of your customer’s daily life.
  • Give customers a take-away, even if it’s just a smile.

You recognize you want your customers to talk about you, but…what do you want them to say? What steps have you taken to build experience-making into your marketing approach? Is it reflected in the way you conduct business?

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